Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she will take it anyway.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.
– Albert Einstein
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
– Elbert Hubbard
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
– Rodney Dangerfield
If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.
– Albert Einstein
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
– George Burns
All generalizations are false, including this one.
– Mark Twain
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
– Ronald Reagan
If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
– Laurence J. Peter
All men are equal before fish.
– Herbert Hoover
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
– Natalie Wood
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
– Winston Churchill
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
– Albert Einstein
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
– Zig Ziglar
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
– Winston Churchill
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
– Robert Frost
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
– Oscar Wilde
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
– Norman Wisdom
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
– Oprah Winfrey
Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes – a building can’t jump at all.
Our language is called the mother tongue.Because the father never gets a chance to Speak!
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